Sometimes I Feel Sometimes
by shooting-midnight-star
Summary: You write such pretty words, but I know that life is no storybook. Love is an excuse to get hurt and to hurt... [[OO&AU]] New story in the making, please give it a chance. [[Naruto x Sakura x Sasuke]]


**Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. They are property of Masashi Kishimoto**

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It was another day.  
Another math class.

Everybody was laughing. Talking as if there was no teacher, ignoring her insulted face, her defeated stance and her last naïve grip onto her sanity. _She's hurt now. _

The shaky figure at the front was already defeated. Even she, who sits from the very back, could clearly see the emotions that betrayed itself upon her sensei's face. It was her first day. First days are especially unforgiving, she knew, as the class president should know best, that her class has never shown any behavior better than what is in front of her at the present moment.

"Everybody… please! Be quiet." Her voice was shaky. _Don't tear up, _the girl begged, silently from the back. _She's only hanging by a thread now. _She's getting her texts, she's packing up. _She's done for._

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She closed her eyes. The drama in the front of the class was meaningless. It was yet another normal day for her. The sunny day beamed into the classroom, prisms of light reflecting upon her desk. _This day is too beautiful. _Warm breaths of air blew on her skin from the window that stood beside her. _Too comfortable be in math class. _

She realized, just then, that it was not the glorious sun that had blew comforts onto her skin. She could feel a presence breathing in front of her face. She opened her eyes almost immediately.

"Sai, please." She was always good at hiding her surprise. The boy who chose to sit himself backwards in his chair leaned so close to her face that, if he was any closer, the tips of her eyelashes would have intertwined with his.

"You're no fun Sakura." His cheeky smirk was his trademark.

"Your opinion of fun, you mean." She leaned back on her chair. The link created between their eyes is broken now. _Not such a beautiful day anymore. _She exhaled and gazed back into his looking stare.

Sai was, as long as she could remember, a ladies man. She knew of his popularity, his bluntness, his growing good looks. He likes to play with girls, she knew, play with their hearts and rob them of their physical pureness. Yet his fan club is ever growing.

"You were enjoying my breath on your face, weren't you." That playful voice never ceased to spark a flame within her. His tone did not treat his words as a question. He was watching her face, he knew she liked it.

Her glare only added to his amusement. He chuckled to himself as he heard a 'hmph' from the girl who was ready to pounce and kill.

"So will you go out with me?" He asked with complete innocence. She was taken back by his question. _The nerve of this guy…_

Her eyes rolled most naturally towards heaven. "Oh, please."

He smirked again. He turns himself around and the conversation ends. _No point in small talk, huh. _Her growing annoyance was only momentarily subdued. This was, of course, not the first time he's asked this of her.

_Whatever Sai wants, whatever Sai gets. _Her face reflexively frowned. She, being the class president, knows of the behaviors of all her classmates. This was certainly, with no doubt in her mind, how Sai thinks of himself. _It certainly doesn't help that his fangirls are willingly submitting themselves. _She catches herself exhaling heavily. And she has become his next project.

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She was not always like this. Her emotions weren't always so controlled. Her calmness was practiced.

Tucking one hand under her chin, she gazed out at the schoolyard below. The female athletes are stretching, getting ready to sprint. But that wasn't where her mind drifted. On day like today where the wind carried the curtains so far to isolate her from the rest of the class, to gently extend and accompany her… what could she possibly do other than to surrender to her loneliness?

She could still hear the class laughing away.

Her eyes gazed down at her slender figure. It was the summer of last year that her body started to recognize her curves. She closed her eyes, and out of habit her hand extended to fix a lock that escaped in front of her face. It was also the school year following that boys had started to notice her in that way. She would cringe, sometimes, at how they openly stared at her, staring at her without shame. _And now there's Sai. _Her hands subconsciously tightened into fists.

Ino would always question her. "You should be flattered, Sakura." She admits with a hint of jealousy behind her voice. "What is there to reject? Konoha High has some of the finest." _Oh, shallow and optimistic Ino. _"Why don't you just give it a try, Sakura? Try to be flexible for once." _But I'm not ready to let go. _"Is there something you're keeping from me? Oh please don't tell me you bend the other way." _I'm sorry if I'm stealing all the guys from you, Ino. Maybe you ought to try harder._

Her mind continued to mimic Ino's voice, playing her questions over and over. She had a witty response for each of her questions, ready to be released at a moment's notice. But it was pitiful. Why did she think of them now, at her desk in the middle of math, and not while Ino actually asked this of her? She caught her own pathetic attempt in justifying her actions and decided to stop her inner quarrel.

"Sakura-chan!"

Just that moment a dark shadow formed itself behind satin curtains. She winced at his voice. She could see that there was no way to escape this.

A hug extended out of nowhere. It pinned her arms to her sides. She could not move, nor could she see the face that was blocked by the soft drapes that trapped between them.

But she knew that voice. She longed for it.

"Ugh, Naruto! Get off!" Her own voice sounded retarded. She was nervous, her tongue partially immobilized by his face pressing against hers from the other side.

He let go and she immediately chopped the curtains away. On the other side, greeting her, was a boy coated with a sheepish grin. Her heart momentarily hastened, her eyes frozen on the image of the boyish grin. She is holding her breath, but she doesn't realize it. There, before her eyes, was the sunny beam that has always found his way to warm her heart. _To soak me in rays of sunshine. _

He extends an arm without shyness to play with his hair. It was a nervous habit, she knew. _That was damn right embarrassing, you knew, then why did you do it?_ She forced herself to look angry.

"I thought you might have needed some cheering up, heh…" He said in good mood.

_So he knew. _Her eyes easily forgave him. Her face was already betraying; she felt the tug of the smile that was too hard to suppress. "Warn me next time, before something like that ever happens again." Her voice was steady this time.

He nodded before burying his face between arms on his desk. She laughed to herself.

Her eyes couldn't help but stare. She remembered from years ago, when they first met, how his brilliant hair only worked to play as a target for the other kids. She would always see him made fun of. His hair was the joke of the day. The marks on his face would add to his silly appearance, and even Sakura had to admit that when she first saw him she had to stiff a giggle. _But kids can be so cruel. _Her face saddened. _He didn't deserve any of it, _she knew. She knew all the way back from day one. She became the first to befriend him, as she remembered. Then the other kids adopted the same acceptance.

_And now he has become quite the man, _she noted. His locks of golden shines brilliantly. She knew this was widely noted upon, because in days where she is on hall monitoring duty, she would at least overhear one conversation about the golden-haired boy. "Kyaaaa! His eyes, so blue!! So penetrating!!" A girl would shriek to another during lunchtime. She would pretend like she didn't hear. But she was truly happy for Naruto. He was her best friend ever since _that_ time. _Time passes quickly for you and me, Naruto. _She almost seems sad at the thought.

_But nothing has changed between you and me. _

She sits back properly into her chair. Out of the corner of her eye she could see another girl flirting with him. Her shyness could be felt all the way by those around her as she poked his arm. She looks down at her feet. He struggled to lift his head up from his arms. He winked at her, Sakura noted. His blooming charms work their way into his words and she could almost see the girl's pounding heart leaping from her chest.

If she were honest to herself, Sakura knew that Naruto was no different from Sai. She knew that he was after the girls, and they fell for him almost as easily if not easier than for the charms of Sai.

If she were utterly honest to herself, she knew that she was in love with him. In love with her best friend, like all the cheesy romances began.

But she knew that he was not in love with her. They were strictly, as he once so boldly promised, "best friends until the very end!" _He always kept his promise. _Her fists tightened the more she played his voice inside her head. _He's keeping me back…he's keeping me back! _She did not want to make a move that would break his promise.

She stared back at the flirting pair, almost painfully, but could not look any longer. They were laughing together, their laughter somehow distinct from the rest of the class. The girl sounded most melodious, her face so happy, one hand on her cheek to hide her blushing.

She turned around. _Drown it out, please. Drown it out. _She begged of herself. Eventually their laughter blended with the class's chatter. Then the chatter became faint. She could only hear the wind now, working on her side. Those curtain arms that gently embraced her shoulders… they were back once again to comfort her.

She looked down on her own body for a brief pause. Strained swallowing tried to calm the feelings that were overflowing within her. She turned her head away from her friends, into the blinding rays of the sun that stood so arrogantly in the sky, hiding the fresh tears that would not stop overflowing at the corners of her shattered emeralds.

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******Hi you guys.  
This is my very first Naruto fanfiction/fanfiction in general. The setting is in a high school, if you _really _can't tell.  
This fanfiction is Naruto X Sakura X Sasuke. The decision to include sai was a last moment sort of thing. So give it a chance. **

**The plot summary is actually lyrics from the song "Lover I don't have to love"- Bright Eyes. I was listening to that song while I wrote this whole chapter. **

**Comments and criticism is welcome. I do not know, because of my busy school schedule, when I will be updating the next chapter but all I will say is that reviews always quicken the blood and satisfies that ever existing hunger a writer must fulfill. I need fans!! TT I need support, I need love! Review! **


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